Archive for March, 2011

For those of you who don’t know–or don’t really care, I am employed as a dream weaver, miracle worker, and a guy who has access to that magical button that will somehow get you free and/or deeply discounted flights. This profession is otherwise known as ‘travel agent’ or as I like to call it ‘Consultant of Travel Services’. Hey, if everyone at Bank of America is a VP of some meaningless department and has some nonsense title, why can’t I?

There are 2 things that piss me off the most in my profession. 1) People who think I can slash airline prices and 2) People who blatantly, or at least hint at the fact that they will be shopping around the second they get off the phone with me. Why not just say “hey, don’t spend a lot of time on me because I’m either not serious, or I will just book with someone else who spent less time because they are saving me $5 more than you.”

The problem with the first point is that literally nobody can discount airline tickets anymore. If you are a fellow agent, I welcome your input as well. I don’t charge people extra for booking tickets, I don’t make any money on the tickets, and I sure as shit am not hiding anything on you. I hate the airlines as much as you. I do not work for the airlines, so don’t get pissed off at me when I tell you how much your flight to Vegas is going to cost. If you don’t have the money to fly, I assume you don’t have the money to piss away in Vegas either, so maybe you should consider traveling when your financial situation permits.

When you bitch about how much it costs to travel I assume certain things about you–That you clearly put no time or effort into researching your trip and you expect me to do all of the work for you AND that you think I have the magic button that allows me to slash your prices to pay what you want to pay. I have some news for you people, brace yourselves, it costs money to travel. My company, which shall remain nameless, ran a special for a 9-day trip to China from $2214 for 4 people. Now, I know it doesn’t specify.. but any person who understands China would realize that this cost is per person, based on 4 people in your group. This chick thought she could fly 4 people to China for 9 days for $2214. The sad part is, I thought she was really serious in the beginning. I even got her an amazing deal on air which was $970 per person…TO FUCKING CHINA. Thats an amazing deal. I spent wayyyy too much time on this and it made my head spin when she said YIKES that’s too expensive… YA THINK? Clearly, she had no fucking idea where China even was.

So yeah, people, if you are going to call your travel agent.. please have SOME idea of where you want to go, when you want to go, and have a realistic budget in mind. If you tell me you want to go to France in the middle of June for $500 a person I’m going to laugh at you and hang up. Do your homework first.

This brings me to my second point. If you want a travel agent to take you seriously, don’t ask if you can get better rates through, say, AAA. Of course, I’m still going to try my best to give you the absolute best service, the best price, and the level of professional courtesy you expect, however, you are basically telling me not to waste too much time on you. Just use some common sense people. I don’t call you at Bank of America and say “hey, Citibank is going to give me a 10% interest rate on this loan when you are offering 12%”. See what I mean?

The main reason why I wrote this wasn’t to bitch about my job or the people that make it difficult. In fact, it wasn’t even a ‘person’ who caused me to  believe everything/everyone is incompetent. Actually, I took issue with a particular resort in Jamaica, which also shall remain nameless. Now, I understand Jamaica is laid back and I can expect a slow turnaround when I send an email request to your resort. But your property happens to be extremely well known and world-renown for its service. I send an email 3 1/2 weeks ago to request that my clients have a child safety seat for their shuttle from the airport to the resort. I finally get a reply back yesterday about pricing for transfers and for me to give them the clients flight info. The problem? They already have all of this information AND it was already paid for. I respond back explaining it and receive an ‘out of office’ reply that she won’t be returning til the day before my clients arrive. I am given the email of another associate who can assist me in this matter. I send an email, in the nicest possible way that I am capable of, explaining the situation, etc. I receive another ‘out of office’ reply that she is out of the office until 2 days before they arrive and to contact the person who is out of the office til the day before with all pressing matters. Hello? Are you serious?

If you are running a damn 5-star resort, I expect a damn reply within that week. Not nearly a month later. At least coordinate your out of office replies as to not make my job more difficult than it has to be. Also, please actually look my clients up before you send some cookie-cutter response to me. That my friends, is the definition of INCOMPETENCE..

A mind is a terrible thing to waste, and clearly, people are wasting away.

Til next time, oooouuutttt

I must warn you, this post is laced with profanity. If you are ok with that.. read on and you’ll see why.

First and foremost.. if you think Danica Patrick is even remotely attractive then you should probably schedule yourself a CAT Scan PRONTO! Honestly, I don’t understand how people think she is ‘hot’? Its not even like shes a tennis player or anything, even women in the WNBA are more attractive. She drives race cars. Either you are drunk and think its sexy because its cool– or you are just a dumb imbred hick. Sorry.

But I didn’t start this post to talk about how nauseatingly disgusting Danica Patrick is. Well OK, it gave me the opportunity to put that out there. But the real reason I am against her is because she played a role in destroying my dreams by whoring out for a company that is the poster child for pure evil. So what is.. well.. what WAS my dream, you ask? For those close to the situation, you may know that I recently attempted to purchase the domain name.

My very own domain name would have made it a million times easier to say ‘hey check out my site’, or to shamelessly promote it without the ‘wordpress’ pre-name or whatever. And it makes content management a hell of a lot easier rather than using this nonsense blog platform. So, like any savvy blogger, I explored my domain options on the open market.

I reluctantly visited, even after I knew the spokes’model’/mutant was the abhorrent Danica Patrick. Their rates ‘appeared’ to be rather reasonable. In hindsight, I should have done my shopping first before even letting GoDaddy know that I was interested in registering that name. Where they get you is that you actually have to type in your domain to ‘check’ if it is available. BIG MISTAKE..

Prior to this, I had checked to see if anyone else was using my domain. It was not being used. You were directed to a ‘herro friend, you have reached an unoccupied space of the internet’ page. Ok, great! I’m on my way to owning this shit. So I mosey on over to GoDaddy and theres a little box thats all like ‘hey enter the name you want here’ followed by a drop-down box with .com, .us, .net etc etc. Who the fuck wants anything else other than .com? I mean, I know its 2011 and all, but people don’t want to be bothered typing in other domains, lets just be real here.

So lo and behold, I enter my website, hit Go, and oh.. what the fuck.. IS ALREADY TAKEN?! Did someone read my fucking mind? Is there really someone else out there that bought this 30 seconds before me… someone actually thinks like me?? Scary.. So I start to get a little suspicious. Next to the ‘already taken’ message is another link to “Use Domain Buy to get this name”. OK, so I gotta buy this instead of pay monthly, I guess thats an alright deal. But oh, you can pay $70 + countless other fees to buy this name.. Now I’m furious.

Now, I’m the type of person who tries to find a solution to everything. So I decided to do a little reverse-domain search to see who the fuck bought up my website in the short amount of time that I was interested in purchasing it. Turns out that the website is suddenly property of WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

I can keep going on and on about this or I can just make it completely clear. DON’T SUPPORT GODADDY.COM. What a fucking joke. You can check to see if your website is ‘available’ and they will go and buy it right out from under your nose. I know for a FACT that the GoDaddy logo wasn’t on before I went to that fucking sinister website. But they do it so you will spend the money to actually pay for it. FUCK YOU GO DADDY. This is fucking war, bitches. I’m going to do everything in my power to bring a world of Charlie Sheen on your asses. #WINNING…

I MAY end up buying a .net. But you can bet your sweet ass I won’t be hosting it on GoDaddy. If you have any suggestions, words of encouragement, GoDaddy horror stories, or would like to support my cause then please get in touch with me! I’d love to hear from you.

Til then.. choose your vice and keep winning!

aaaand out.

So I did it again. Another month of inactivity goes by. I know.. its crazy. I’m even going through withdrawal from not having enough ‘me’ in my life. So once again, I will vow to update on a semi-regular basis.. for real this time!

I’m going to publish my stance on the whole Charlie Sheen situation once things unfold a little more. Its just too good right now so get ya popcorn out and keep #WINNING! And apparently nothing was going on in the rest of the world other than his meltdown. So Wisconsin, WikiLeaks, Libya.. fuck off, America’s got real problems!

A few updates I would like to throw out there:

  • HerroPrease has hit the 1K viewers mark and to show my appreciation to my dear fans, I offer all of you a free subscription to HerroPrease! Memebers have exclusive access to.. well.. everything non-subscribers have access to.. but if you ever provide me feedback you will be rewarded in some way shape and/or form.
  • There are a few new Love Is… comics up so check them out!
  • I am officially #atwar with @DanicaPatrick over the rights to I’ll explain more in another post. I have a lot of problems with GoDaddy but I’ll spare the rant for now.
  • The 2011 Celebrity Death Pool is really heating up! Zsa Zsa is in the hospital again.. how did I miss that pick?  So far 2011 has been a weak year for celeb deaths. Spring and Summer is when the shit really starts to hit the fan!

Stay tuned folks.. Lots of good stuff coming!