Danica Patrick Squashed My Dreams

Posted: March 4, 2011 by Tim in Completely Pointless
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I must warn you, this post is laced with profanity. If you are ok with that.. read on and you’ll see why.

First and foremost.. if you think Danica Patrick is even remotely attractive then you should probably schedule yourself a CAT Scan PRONTO! Honestly, I don’t understand how people think she is ‘hot’? Its not even like shes a tennis player or anything, even women in the WNBA are more attractive. She drives race cars. Either you are drunk and think its sexy because its cool– or you are just a dumb imbred hick. Sorry.

But I didn’t start this post to talk about how nauseatingly disgusting Danica Patrick is. Well OK, it gave me the opportunity to put that out there. But the real reason I am against her is because she played a role in destroying my dreams by whoring out for a company that is the poster child for pure evil. So what is.. well.. what WAS my dream, you ask? For those close to the situation, you may know that I recently attempted to purchase the HerroPrease.com domain name.

My very own domain name would have made it a million times easier to say ‘hey check out my site’, or to shamelessly promote it without the ‘wordpress’ pre-name or whatever. And it makes content management a hell of a lot easier rather than using this nonsense blog platform. So, like any savvy blogger, I explored my domain options on the open market.

I reluctantly visited GoDaddy.com, even after I knew the spokes’model’/mutant was the abhorrent Danica Patrick. Their rates ‘appeared’ to be rather reasonable. In hindsight, I should have done my shopping first before even letting GoDaddy know that I was interested in registering that name. Where they get you is that you actually have to type in your domain to ‘check’ if it is available. BIG MISTAKE..

Prior to this, I had checked to see if anyone else was using my HerroPrease.com domain. It was not being used. You were directed to a ‘herro friend, you have reached an unoccupied space of the internet’ page. Ok, great! I’m on my way to owning this shit. So I mosey on over to GoDaddy and theres a little box thats all like ‘hey enter the name you want here’ followed by a drop-down box with .com, .us, .net etc etc. Who the fuck wants anything else other than .com? I mean, I know its 2011 and all, but people don’t want to be bothered typing in other domains, lets just be real here.

So lo and behold, I enter my website, hit Go, and oh.. what the fuck.. herroprease.com IS ALREADY TAKEN?! Did someone read my fucking mind? Is there really someone else out there that bought this 30 seconds before me… someone actually thinks like me?? Scary.. So I start to get a little suspicious. Next to the ‘already taken’ message is another link to “Use Domain Buy to get this name”. OK, so I gotta buy this instead of pay monthly, I guess thats an alright deal. But oh, you can pay $70 + countless other fees to buy this name.. Now I’m furious.

Now, I’m the type of person who tries to find a solution to everything. So I decided to do a little reverse-domain search to see who the fuck bought up my website in the short amount of time that I was interested in purchasing it. Turns out that the website is suddenly property of GoDaddy.com. WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

I can keep going on and on about this or I can just make it completely clear. DON’T SUPPORT GODADDY.COM. What a fucking joke. You can check to see if your website is ‘available’ and they will go and buy it right out from under your nose. I know for a FACT that the GoDaddy logo wasn’t on herroprease.com before I went to that fucking sinister website. But they do it so you will spend the money to actually pay for it. FUCK YOU GO DADDY. This is fucking war, bitches. I’m going to do everything in my power to bring a world of Charlie Sheen on your asses. #WINNING…

I MAY end up buying a .net. But you can bet your sweet ass I won’t be hosting it on GoDaddy. If you have any suggestions, words of encouragement, GoDaddy horror stories, or would like to support my cause then please get in touch with me! I’d love to hear from you.

Til then.. choose your vice and keep winning!

aaaand out.

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