For those of you who don’t know–or don’t really care, I am employed as a dream weaver, miracle worker, and a guy who has access to that magical button that will somehow get you free and/or deeply discounted flights. This profession is otherwise known as ‘travel agent’ or as I like to call it ‘Consultant of Travel Services’. Hey, if everyone at Bank of America is a VP of some meaningless department and has some nonsense title, why can’t I?

There are 2 things that piss me off the most in my profession. 1) People who think I can slash airline prices and 2) People who blatantly, or at least hint at the fact that they will be shopping around the second they get off the phone with me. Why not just say “hey, don’t spend a lot of time on me because I’m either not serious, or I will just book with someone else who spent less time because they are saving me $5 more than you.”

The problem with the first point is that literally nobody can discount airline tickets anymore. If you are a fellow agent, I welcome your input as well. I don’t charge people extra for booking tickets, I don’t make any money on the tickets, and I sure as shit am not hiding anything on you. I hate the airlines as much as you. I do not work for the airlines, so don’t get pissed off at me when I tell you how much your flight to Vegas is going to cost. If you don’t have the money to fly, I assume you don’t have the money to piss away in Vegas either, so maybe you should consider traveling when your financial situation permits.

When you bitch about how much it costs to travel I assume certain things about you–That you clearly put no time or effort into researching your trip and you expect me to do all of the work for you AND that you think I have the magic button that allows me to slash your prices to pay what you want to pay. I have some news for you people, brace yourselves, it costs money to travel. My company, which shall remain nameless, ran a special for a 9-day trip to China from $2214 for 4 people. Now, I know it doesn’t specify.. but any person who understands China would realize that this cost is per person, based on 4 people in your group. This chick thought she could fly 4 people to China for 9 days for $2214. The sad part is, I thought she was really serious in the beginning. I even got her an amazing deal on air which was $970 per person…TO FUCKING CHINA. Thats an amazing deal. I spent wayyyy too much time on this and it made my head spin when she said YIKES that’s too expensive… YA THINK? Clearly, she had no fucking idea where China even was.

So yeah, people, if you are going to call your travel agent.. please have SOME idea of where you want to go, when you want to go, and have a realistic budget in mind. If you tell me you want to go to France in the middle of June for $500 a person I’m going to laugh at you and hang up. Do your homework first.

This brings me to my second point. If you want a travel agent to take you seriously, don’t ask if you can get better rates through, say, AAA. Of course, I’m still going to try my best to give you the absolute best service, the best price, and the level of professional courtesy you expect, however, you are basically telling me not to waste too much time on you. Just use some common sense people. I don’t call you at Bank of America and say “hey, Citibank is going to give me a 10% interest rate on this loan when you are offering 12%”. See what I mean?

The main reason why I wrote this wasn’t to bitch about my job or the people that make it difficult. In fact, it wasn’t even a ‘person’ who caused me to  believe everything/everyone is incompetent. Actually, I took issue with a particular resort in Jamaica, which also shall remain nameless. Now, I understand Jamaica is laid back and I can expect a slow turnaround when I send an email request to your resort. But your property happens to be extremely well known and world-renown for its service. I send an email 3 1/2 weeks ago to request that my clients have a child safety seat for their shuttle from the airport to the resort. I finally get a reply back yesterday about pricing for transfers and for me to give them the clients flight info. The problem? They already have all of this information AND it was already paid for. I respond back explaining it and receive an ‘out of office’ reply that she won’t be returning til the day before my clients arrive. I am given the email of another associate who can assist me in this matter. I send an email, in the nicest possible way that I am capable of, explaining the situation, etc. I receive another ‘out of office’ reply that she is out of the office until 2 days before they arrive and to contact the person who is out of the office til the day before with all pressing matters. Hello? Are you serious?

If you are running a damn 5-star resort, I expect a damn reply within that week. Not nearly a month later. At least coordinate your out of office replies as to not make my job more difficult than it has to be. Also, please actually look my clients up before you send some cookie-cutter response to me. That my friends, is the definition of INCOMPETENCE..

A mind is a terrible thing to waste, and clearly, people are wasting away.

Til next time, oooouuutttt

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