“Miami Police Can’t Even Handle Rapper ‘Flo Rida’ After Night Of The Club Not Being Able To Handle Him Right Now”

Posted: June 10, 2011 by Tim in Completely Pointless, News
Tags: , , , , , ,

REPORT: Miami Police Can’t Even Handle Rapper ‘Flo Rida’ After Night Of The Club Not Being Able To Handle Him Right Now

Miami Beach, Florida – Dazed onlookers couldn’t help but stop and stare Thursday night, as rapper Flo Rida zoned out in Miami’s Dream Nightclub. 

One of the club’s patrons, who wishes to remain anonymous, said “Yeah, he was really going all out, the club really couldn’t handle him”.

Other presumably jealous patrons described the rapper as “arrogant like yeah” as he surrounded himself with bottles and models. At one point, he was even standing on chairs, flashing his cash, and making all of the girls melt.  

The club’s owner says that Flo visits often, because Dream is one of the few Miami Beach nightclubs that can actually handle Flo Rida. He doesn’t mind the extra attention on these nights. “Flo knows everyone is watching, he goes all out because there’s so much attention, he rocks, he rolls, he holds, he knows it, everyone knows it”. 

After copious amount of shots, and about 10 rounds of Kato, Flo decided that the celebration was no longer the only thing he knew. Instead of stepping out of the club and into his new limo (some say it was in the shop), he stepped into his car and started to drive himself back home. As you all know, Flo goes ALL out and stepped into his $1.3+ million Bugatti Veyron, one of the most ridiculous sports cars on the planet. 

After spending that kind of ‘Flo’ on a car, and walking into the club and tossing a couple thousand dollars in the air, there must not be a lot of money to go around for a driver, because Flo was arrested Thursday night for driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license. 

Flo was asked by police to walk in a straight line, after failing, Flo was quoted as saying “Officers, I can’t do this. I don’t feel I can walk a straight line. I had a few drinks. I own the light and I don’t need no help. Let’s try another test, I really can’t handle this right now”. While some adoring fans had gathered around the scene, pleading to the officers to let him free, and even offering to give Flo a ride home, Miami police put their collective feet down and hauled the rapper off to jail. 

Obviously he was released on bail, but come on Flo. I know you do it big all over the globe, but when you are going all out, at least hire a driver to get you there and back safely. 

Til Next Time.. 

  1. Sean Rossman says:

    It’s really sad what’s happened to FloRida. The guy just can’t go out to clubs with his friends like a normal person, he has to try to gauge whether the club he’s going to can handle him. This is unfortunately what happens when it can’t. The problem is there’s no criteria for a club that can’t handle him so it usually happens that once Flo finds out the club can’t handle him it’s already too late.

    The latest I heard was that a woman at the club that caught Flo’s eye reportedly “spun his head right round, right round, like a record baby, right round, round round.” Needless to say this resulted in near paralyzing pain for the hit maker as he headed home.

    God Speed.

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