North Koreans Are Sore Losers

Posted: June 29, 2011 by Tim in News
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NK v USA - Women's World Cup

What do you do when your country loses to your sworn enemy in a Women’s World Cup soccer match? Make up an excuse. That’s precisely what the coach of the North Korean women’s soccer team did Tuesday, as the United States defeated North Korea 2-0. Oh I should have mentioned, yes, there really is a Women’s World Cup.. Although judging from the picture, the North Korean players may be disguised as men? Unless widespread famine and malnourishment makes you look that ugly. But hey, maybe that’s the reason why they are so pissed off at the rest of the world in the first place? They are just told that women in North Korea are the most beautiful women in the world.

Anyway, coach Kwang Min Kim claimed that five unnamed players were struck by lightning at a training match in Pyongyang leading up to the World Cup.

“Some stayed in hospital and then came to Germany later than the rest of us. The goalkeeper and the four defenders were most affected, and some midfielders as well. The physicians said the players were not capable of participating in the tournament … But World Cup football is the most important and significant event for a footballer, so they don’t want to think about anything but football … The fact that they played could be called abnormal, the result of very strong will.” – Coach Kim

Since the players are not allowed to talk to the press, the world shall never know who was affected, or if they really were struck by lightning. To be fair, if I were the coach of North Korea, I would make up any excuses I can in order to delay my inevitable fate upon returning home. I imagine once the North Koreans lose their second match, these players and coach will no longer be relevant or heard from ever again. They will either be forced to work in a prison camp, or executed for their lack of national spirit.. Til next time..


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