FUCK THE USPS

Posted: January 20, 2012 by Tim in Uncategorized

Seriously, fuck the USPS (United States Postal Service for the rest of the world). The Post Office is the biggest piece of government-run bullshit waste I have ever encountered. Every single time you go, there is a line out the door and 1 person working the desk. Moving as slow as possible, and if you live in Philadelphia, extremely friendly and chatty to every African American customer and rude to me for no reason.

Well my trip today should be no different.

Being the impatient person that I am, I beg my boss to pre-buy $1 stamps, priority envelopes and labels so I can just go over to the post office and drop my parcel at the desk. Bada-bing bada-boom. The workers generally don’t care and are happy you aren’t one of the morons who acts like its the first time they have ever been to a post office and don’t have any of their address labels or paper work, or even packaging ready EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE SIGNS EVERYWHERE TELLING YOU TO DO SO. So I like being on their good side.

Today, I go to a different post office than normal. Not surprised, there is a line stretching to the door. Surprised, there are 2 workers on duty. I wait in line for a minute, and sensing my lunch break is going to be cut drastically, I decide to walk around the line. I wait patiently to the side of another customer, as to not interrupt her transaction. When she is done I, very politely, ask “excuse me can I just leave this with you”. She looks, I point to the 5 $1 stamps affixed to the envelope, the label is clearly filled out, all she needs to do at this point is extend her arm and accept the package, no exchange of words would even have been necessary.

But no.

She looks at me, in disgust (in my opinion), and tells me “since you put all ‘dem stamps on it you gotta wait in line”.

W-W-WHATTTT?!?!?

I calmly explain that its paid for all she needs to do is rubber stamp it and place it in the bin, saving me 25 minutes of agonizing waiting time and making her life easier, only to be interrupted with “step away from my desk and get in line (white boy)”. Ok I added that last part, but I know what she was thinking.

Not only am I impatient, I’m also an extremely bitter person. Not wanting to waste my day in line (which I feel like that is the only reason people go to the post office in the first place) I decide to make a scene proclaiming to the entire post office that she is the perfect government worker: FAT, LAZY AND RUDE. I felt it was necessary to storm of shouting obscenities at this point. But seriously, is there any fucking reason to be so rude to a (paid) customer?

I can’t wait for the USPS to collapse and this bitch is out on the street. For the record, I went to the other post office where the people actually give a fuck and they took my parcel NO QUESTIONS ASKED. This is why you guys sell stamps and shit, so people can just breeze in and out of the post office NOT BE THERE ALL FUCKING DAY.

So fuck you, USPS, I’m out.

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Comments
  1. Greg says:

    That was the BEST post i have ever read concerning the USPS! They SUCK SO BAD!!! I have had packages sent via USPS priority mail and twice the packages were missent due to probably lazy, fat and rude peole as you mentioned in your post. I cannot wait for this government run piece of shit to go out of business FOR GOOD!!! The government SUCKS in every aspect!!! GREAT POST!!!!

  2. Greg says:

    Oh and i almost forgot to mention that its VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE to get ahold of anyone at the USPS to find out any info you may need! FUCK OFF USPS!!!!

  3. Tim says:

    Thanks for reading!!

  4. Ida Slapter says:

    FUCK THE USPS

  5. Pazuzu says:

    I’m apalled. I just got back from the post office and they wouldn’t give me my parcel because it was tobacco( from jr cigars, from whom I’ve ordered many such parcels over the years and, according to some regulation passed in July this year, it is illegal to mail tobacco. Well I said my piece to the bemusement of the customers, but the end result was, they confiscated my package. I didn’t know about this damn law, but i’ll bet it won’t be long before they start confiscating other shit, as well. Now I’m having a nicotene headache Die fucking die USPS.

    • Tim says:

      Wow I was unaware of this, thanks for the heads up. Looks like I won’t be ordering Shisha tobacco through the mail. Living in PA, I’m already bound by the archaic alcohol laws, and prohibition on even tobacco paraphernalia like water pipes and the like. I even had an issue ordering vaporizer bags before. USPS needs to go.

  6. […] written a lot here about my displeasures with the United States Postal Service, and this rant will be no different. I’m just going to cut straight to the chase. Today I had […]

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