Posts Tagged ‘news’


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Welcome back to the show.

The guys kick off with some off-season basketball news and whether or not the Palestra is cool or not. College football jerseys are

debated and Kyle reveals the advantages of being color blind. Tim goes on to speculate on the upcoming season of Wife Swap.

Later on, two white guys explain a racist act to another white guy, plus more racist acts of the week before are discussed. Plus, the long national nightmare is over: wine kiosks shut down. Plus its the beginning of the end of the self-checkout era, the fellas share their memories.

After a short Dorito-zombie interlude, Darrell Clarke’s bill to curb housing around Temple’s campus is the topic of discussion and we philosophize as to who is right in the student vs. North Philly resident debate. Plus, here’s an update on the falling satellite: it crashed.

Prop betting is discussed and the guys start their own prop betting game. If your into porking, but not pork, you should look into PETA’s
new porn site. Speaking of PETA, the guys think they should pump their brakes and just stick to the basics, and do they owe Mike Vick more?

The guys go on to discuss the troubles of the Philadelphia Eagles and their “dream team” stigma. Travel agent Tim tells us to go to Jamaica and the non-Juarez parts of Mexico. Finally, Kyle signs us off.

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So I did it again. Another month of inactivity goes by. I know.. its crazy. I’m even going through withdrawal from not having enough ‘me’ in my life. So once again, I will vow to update on a semi-regular basis.. for real this time!

I’m going to publish my stance on the whole Charlie Sheen situation once things unfold a little more. Its just too good right now so get ya popcorn out and keep #WINNING! And apparently nothing was going on in the rest of the world other than his meltdown. So Wisconsin, WikiLeaks, Libya.. fuck off, America’s got real problems!

A few updates I would like to throw out there:

  • HerroPrease has hit the 1K viewers mark and to show my appreciation to my dear fans, I offer all of you a free subscription to HerroPrease! Memebers have exclusive access to.. well.. everything non-subscribers have access to.. but if you ever provide me feedback you will be rewarded in some way shape and/or form.
  • There are a few new Love Is… comics up so check them out!
  • I am officially #atwar with @DanicaPatrick over the rights to HerroPrease.com.. I’ll explain more in another post. I have a lot of problems with GoDaddy but I’ll spare the rant for now.
  • The 2011 Celebrity Death Pool is really heating up! Zsa Zsa is in the hospital again.. how did I miss that pick?  So far 2011 has been a weak year for celeb deaths. Spring and Summer is when the shit really starts to hit the fan!

Stay tuned folks.. Lots of good stuff coming!

Out..

The lovely view from the second floor of 1334 Walnut St

So its been over a month since I’ve blogged anything and I am terribly sorry to all you OHP followers out there (if there are any?). Anyway, life is good. Maybe things aren’t pissing me off as bad as they usually do so I’ve been rather tame lately. No.. I take that back. I just don’t keep the commitment to blog my daily rants, they have been staying in my head or being written down sporadically. So again, I am going to renew my commitment to this blog and hopefully I will update it more than once a month. I’m finally over the fact that nobody reloaded my Starbucks Card .

So my gripe today is with the local news stations in Philadelphia. Specifically, Fox News Philly. Now, it is not only Fox that does this, but they are the most annoying so I will just roll with them as the primary example for this nonsense.

Whenever there is a ‘threat’ of a potential snow storm or if its actually, you know, snowing, every fucking station in the city dispatches crews to various locations in Southeast PA, Philly, and parts of South Jersey (ew). Now, I know for a fact its not the first time its ever snowed in Philadelphia and the surrounding areas. In fact, its not the second time either. I don’t know, maybe its something about living in a temperate climate or living on this particular longitude/latitude that causes this mysterious phenomenon, but history shows us that IT FUCKING SNOWS ON THE EAST COAST..

So last night I’m guide-surfing the TV around 11pm and I know that Seinfeld is usually on Fox at that time. I am aware that there is going to be some snow the next day so I kind of figured the station would be cranking it to weather reports. But I decided to play TV roulette and take my chances. Commercial. 50/50 chance Seinfeld might actually be on, considering its not fucking snowing out. Nope. Weather reports. Ok whatever, I’ll watch it and see whats up. Report says its gonna snow a little overnight, turn to rain by the morning commute, no mess until the storm hits around 7PM the following day. So naturally, I’m like what the fuck are they reporting this nonsense for if there are going to be no delays? So I go to bed planning to not get up early to avoid any delays.

Wake up this morning, what do you know? Couple fucking inches of snow, ice, complete fucking mess (see picture above). Am I surprised? Not really. But honestly, what the actual fuck were they reporting on last night? So again, I’m like whatever, flip on the morning news as usual to see the weather report and thinking maybe they will give me some actual local news and possibly some national shit, I mean, the State of the Union speech was last night so some republican blowhard would at least be mentioning it.

First off, let me just say that the “Good Day Philly” broadcast on Fox 29 usually makes me want to gouge out my eyeballs and stick bamboo shoots through my eardrums. This crew is suuuper obnoxious. You have the two anchors- Mike Jerrick (who I believe is a closet racist), and Sheinelle Jones who is somewhat tolerable. Then you have the field reporters which drive me absolutely insane. When it snows they send out all of their reporters. One goes to Cherry Hill, NJ. Another to somewhere in South Philly or the Northeast. One goes to a suburb somewhere, say Media, and so on.

So Ok. Its snowing. I look outside, I see it. Its white, falling from the sky, looks messy. Snow. I get it. Turn the news on, all these reporters are in their various locations in the region and guess what.. ITS SNOWING THERE TOO! Oh. My. God. Stop the fucking presses. Its snowing less than 5 miles from me?! Gadzooks! And this goes on and on and on, all, fucking, morning. It alternates between the ever douchey and quite possibly the biggest cokehead reporter on TV who crawled out of some asshole in South Jersey, Steve Keeley: “Hey Mike and Sheinelle, its snowing here in Cherry Hill, look at the cars going by, take a look at this bush, there’s snow on it.. back to you in the studio” followed by another Doppler radar shot, followed by a youtube video from someone in Narberth showing their backyard, to a shot of some stupid kids playing in the snow. Etc etc etc fucking etc.

So, you may be asking, why are you so angry? People need to know that its snowing everywhere, not just in your neighborhood. They have children or relatives in those areas. Ok, that’s cool. But I’m angry because its called the NEWS. There was absolutely nothing being reported except for “look at the flakes”, “look at the road here”, “look at these viewer photos”. I have no idea what is going on in Philly other than snow. Its a pretty big fucking city for nothing else to be going on. I watch the news, because more often than not, I don’t have time to read the paper.  I would have been happy with at least one interesting news report.. but no.

In summation, we live on the east coast. It snows. Every winter, usually. We get blizzards. We get nor’easters. We. Get. Snow… Deal with it. Don’t make it into a 24-hr news spectacle because we all can put the blinds up and see it for ourselves. This shit needs to stop, and soon. If people don’t know that its snowing out and not to drive like complete ass-hats then thats their fucking problem for being the pieces of shit that they are.

…AAAAAAAnnnnddddd I’m out.. hopefully not for long tho.

Does news really take this long to travel to this bum-fuck nation? They are STILL shooting people, burning American flags, and chanting “Death to America” in the streets of Kabul over the whole failed US Koran burning fiasco that didn’t even take place last week.

How the hell did they find out so quickly, yet they still don’t know that the whacko pastor called the whole thing off. I mean, they called it off what, 5 days ago? 5 days in America is like 40 weeks in Afghanistan apparently. Chill the fuck out and move on already. 80% of America has already forgotten about it and are on to the next thing. I think Lady Gaga’s meat dress and winning 8 VMAs pretty much made us forget about any redneck pastor in Shitsville, Florida burning your holiest of books.

And for real, Afghanistan.. get a new fucking chant already. “Death to America” and burning flags is so 2002. Come up with something new for a change. And another thing, its not the stone ages anymore.. encourage education, let women be educated, stop shooting people over stupid shit and create jobs so people aren’t all pissed off all the time because they have nothing else better to do with their time than chant “death to America” all day. Why else do you think the Taliban is thriving? Your main crop is opium for fucks sake. What do the children have to look forward to? Well, I can group up to be in the Taliban, a farmer, or police. Get with the program already.

And I’m out..